Internet, you win... You always do.

DISCLAIMER: This post is long and rambly... I apologize in advance for anybody that makes it all the way though.

Yes, I've decided to give this blogging thing the old college try. I've been an outspoken member of the anti-blogging community for some time now, but I've been compelled to swallow my pride in more than one facet of my life recently so I'm going to give blogging a try and see where it takes me.

The vast majority of my personal insight and moments of clarity are inspired by the meaningful conversations I engage in with my closer friends. Sometimes it's a new perspective on a stale or stagnant idea; sometimes it's merely rewording my own thoughts more clearly than I've been able to. Often, and as unlikely as it seems, it's more like a television sitcom where the one character will apply knowledge gained from a different characters experience during the episode to solve their own problem. What I'm getting at is that comments, feedback, and criticism are most welcome to anything you may read here in my blog.

On a slightly different note, I'll warn you that often my original drafts takes a very stream of consciousness feel to them and I don't foresee myself proof reading and revising these posts, so I apologize in advance if you feel that I'm rambling. Just try to pull out the significant information while simultaneously attempting to avoid being distracted by my often incoherent thought processes.

Let me explain why today I've finally caved and jumped on the blog-wagon...

Today I left work around 10:30 because there just wasn't anything to do and I didn't feel like sitting around the office all day trying my hardest to look busy. I came home, took a shower, read a little bit, made some lunch, took a nap, read a little bit more, got some dinner, goofed around on the internet, and then read a little bit more. My day has been an entire waste. The nap is about the only productive thing I've done. Maybe if I were reading something for a class or some sort of self-improvement literature, but it's a fantasy novel that I'm reading for no other reason than entertainment. Boredom has driven me here.

Now let me list all of the things I could have done with my time and maybe somebody will have their own insight as to what I can do differently. I could have:

1. Started a blog.

2. Gone to Deseret Industries around the valley looking for roller hockey equipment.

3. Called Sara's friend she wants to set me up on a blind date with.

4. Gone to Home Depot and got the blinds my dad wants me to put up in the warehouse.

5. Taken the trailer sitting outside to the dump like I told my dad I would a week ago.

6. Done my laundry

7. Studied for my Structural Masonry exam for work.

8. Gone running, biking, or swimming.

9. Cleaned up my living space.

10. Removed all the junk from my car that has been building up for months now

11. Gone to the bank to deposit the checks that have been sitting in my wallet for over a month.

12. Read something more uplifting like my scriptures.

13. Visited with a school counselor so they can remove the block on my registration. (Being a second year transfer student, the University of Utah requires you meet with an advisor before you can register for classes)

The list goes on...

This is the same struggle I've faced my entire life and I've never found a remedy for it. A MAJOR lack of motivation. It's crazy; I have an almost obsessive compulsive drive to see certain things completed. Recently this has taken the form of TV series. Once started I'm willing to drop everything to finish it even if the series isn't that great. Not long ago I spent a month watching all of That 70's Show. What in the hell?! By the end I wanted to gouge my own eyes out! How can I obsess over completing an awful TV series, but when it comes to school and improving my life and the life of my future family, I'd rather stare at a blank wall for hours on end than do any real work?

It's amazing how differently I seem to view socially intensive activities though. For example, my senior year in high school I was extremely involved in student government. I spent my life at that school volunteering for every assignment I could, going to every event, sacrificing my time to complete arduous tasks so they'd be ready in time for the next assembly. I was rarely ever at home because I was so involved and it wasn't because I wanted to improve our school, but because I loved working with all my friends to do it all. Sadly the real world isn't so accommodating, is it? People grow up, get married, have jobs, go to school, move out of the country...

How do I embrace this change and trudge on anyway?

P.S. I swear, not all my blog posts will be so depressing.