"I hate it!"

I've been working on homework for hours and I needed a break.  I'm sick of writing about linguistics, so I've decided to write about something that's interesting to me...

"I hate it!" Anybody I have ever talked to for more than 5 minutes has probably heard this phrase come out of my mouth.  I've spent some meditative time on the subject of hate and I've come to this conclusion:  that this particular phrase is a very inaccurate representation as to how I actually view the world.  I know in my language that I've devalued the word "hate" because even though I often get frustrated about any number of things, I very rarely could say I honestly hate them.

My Adolescent Literature class is what got me thinking about this topic.  As we've been dealing with several different texts it's become clear that I am one of maybe three people that give the "villains" in these works some measure of sympathy.  An example from our most recently read novel is Precious' mother in the book Push, by Sapphire.  Anyone familiar with the book (or the movie, Precious, that was based off this book) can tell you that Precious' mother is about as awful as it comes when talking about any human being, much less a mother.  She allowed her boyfriend to sexually abuse and impregnate Precious multiple times.  Now don't misunderstand me, I'm in no way justifying her unbelievably sickening decisions, but as my instructor and classmates were condemning Mama, I couldn't help but feel just a little bit for her.  I certainly DO hate her acts as a mother, but I just can't bring myself to say I hate her... Granted, she's a fictional character in a heavy book, but there is just enough in there to make me think that she may possibly regret her behavior and still loves her daughter.  That's the problem with literature though, you just never know some characters back story or what happens after the book ends.

This line of thought can also been seen in my last post about my dad.  He definitely isn't anywhere even remotely close to being as awful as Precious' mother in Push, but he isn't an ideal parent either.  I often hate much about the decisions he makes, but I still love him.

I guess what I really don't hate is people.  I'm often frustrated by decisions people make, and on occasion I may even actually hate some of those decisions, but I can't think of a single person I know that I truly hate (other than maybe Glenn Beck, but I don't know him personally, so we're giving him a pass...)  I can't even say that I hate the men that are responsible for the murder of my biological father.  In fact, I feel pity for them.

I don't think I've ever really posted anything on here about my religious beliefs, but this topic holds so closely to them, that I can't really ignore them... I'm pretty sure than anybody that would spend the time to read my blog knows I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I've had my fair share of run-ins with temptation, sin, and transgression, and through those experiences, and the repentance involved with them, I've gained a powerful appreciation and testimony for the power of the Atonement.  It's hard to really talk about my personal witness of this without going into details I don't care to share, but for anybody doubting, I can tell you that I have strong very convictions about the divinity of Jesus Christ.  When you've felt the healing power of his atonement, it's difficult to remain hateful towards your spiritual brothers and sisters when they come up short too.

If "hate" is one side of the pendulum, then "love" has got to be the other.  I love a lot of things, but even though I feel like it's easy not to hate people, it's often very difficult to love them.  I have my family and several close friends that I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to say I love, and could list off endless reasons why I love them, but I'm not very good at the whole loving everybody unconditionally scene.  That being said, here is my new endeavor.  I'm going to stop saying "I hate it!" about every little thing, even though I rarely mean it.  Instead, I'm going to try to replace that phrase with "I love it!"  Perhaps it will sound a little pretentious even though I don't mean it to be, but I'm a strong believer in the power of words and language, and I think shifting the way I talk about things is the first step to getting there for reals.  Hmmm.... Maybe I should save that statement for a New Years Resolution since that's right around the corner... I guess I'll use December as a warm up month, and then come January 1st I'll officially add it to the list of things I want to change.  That's fair, isn't it?